One litter of tears…
In fact… my tears fallen more than that..
To really understand and feel the pain inside the girl…
How much soreness and hurt she had to overcome..
How much sorrow and tears she had to undergoes..
How much sadness and fear she had to suffers..
For being her…
Need so much courage to standing still!
Even my tears seems too little to stand for her feeling..
To be together to feel her pain..
But as much as I can do today is crying..
To feel sorry for her empty future..
What I will do tomorrow..
Is to wake up with full of joys..
And forget about her yesterday…
But for her…
Even to close her eyes when the night came..
Is one with all the frightening things to do…
Is not what will persist the blissful of yesterday..
Rather continue the pleasant days of before…
Because her nightmares..
Will continue forever!
I quotes some of her writing..
Can feel her sorrow..
I can’t feel her pain..
God may bless her…
“This disease… why did it choose me..?”
How a little girl.. knows the truth behind that….
Fate. It cant be put into words..
However.. as the years keep growing..
With the health keep worsening..
This little girl start to realize..
And knows that her now don’t have a second choice..
Rather than accept her own self..
Her own disabled body..
“What’s wrong with fallen down..?
You can always stand up again..
People shouldn’t dwell on the past..
Its enough to try your best in all that you are doing now”
“To stop my pace.. and live in the present
Even though there will be a day.. that I will lose it
Isn’t it great that I could pass on the dream that I had to give up?”
“Reality is too cruel.. to brutal
I don’t even have a right to dream..
As I think about future, the tears will come out again..
Where should I head towards?
Even if there isn’t an answer
I feel better to write it down
I’ve looked for a pair of helping hand
But couldn’t feel them, couldn’t see them
I only face towards the darkness
And hear the sounds of my hopeless screams”
May 23rd,1988. 12.55am
Kitou Aya 25 years old lay asleep forever
Surrounded by flowers..as her wish..
She passed away..
One litter of tears,.
A true story about a brilliant and active girl..
Also a very obedient child..
Had to suffer an incurable disease
Force her to accept the new empty future life..
But the strong and courage her shows..
Really admire me.
I don’t know why..
These stories I already leave it far behind..
But still the feeling is here..
These story really touch my feeling..???
Even the surrounding seems like share the same feeling as me…
I don’t know..
Why it seems like I’m the one who lost this girl…
Seems like I miss the time spend with her..
Miss her smile.. miss her courage.. miss her tough..
one litter of tears….